Survivor

Survivor looks like fun…..from my bedroom.  I’d never survive on that show.  Don’t get me wrong, I can be soooo stubborn when I want to be, and for a million bucks, I can certainly attempt to look out for my own best interests in such a manipulative game, but let’s face it, my stint on Survivor would be short lived.  For example, I could make it to the island.  Imagine Kimmy Attic Dweller helping set up camp and morphing into Kimmy Island Dweller.  Y’all know exactly what would happen the second one of the island’s natives showed up…..and by native, I’m not talking about whatever native people may live there.  I’m talking about native critters…..creepy, crawly, multi-colored, little critters.  I can’t even kill the tiny spiders that sometimes show up here in the attic without tears (ok, I can’t ever kill the spiders period), so there’s absolutely no chance I’d be able to take on a spider as big as my cat. 

Then, there are those pesky storms.  In those tropical areas, those storms get downright nasty.  I don’t cope well with the spring storms that come to this area.  I’d probably dig a hole in the sand and bury myself in it just to try and get away from the fear a massive island storm would cause (well, I’d hide in my freshly dug hole provided I didn’t find any of those critters mentioned above).  I don’t do well with hunger either.  Ask anyone who knows me, I get crabby when my belly is empty.  Not that I couldn’t stand to lose a few pounds while on the “Survivor Diet”, but it wouldn’t be pretty.  Oh, and sometimes when I get too hot I get quite close to passing out.  Physically, I’m not destined for the Olympics anytime soon, but I have surprised myself in the past with what I can accomplish, and I love puzzles, so I might actually be able to stand on my own two feet in the challenges…..if I’m not hiding in a hole or running from critters.

If I can manage to survive the “nature” part, and the “physical” part of the game, I’ve still got to contend with the mental/social part of the game.  I know I’m the good girl.  I tend to be sweet and a good listener.  I like to make people happy when I can, so I’d be easy enough to get along with.  There’s just one problem…..that personality would probably scream TARGET to those who would be looking for someone easy to manipulate.  I’m not stupid, I’ve watched a lot of this show over the years, so I wouldn’t be as easy to manipulate as people may assume I would be.  However, because I’ve watched so much of this show, I’d probably have a hard time trusting anyone.  The mental wars those people wage on each other are brutal. 

The strange thing about Survivor is that you need to assemble alliances, but you can’t ever trust them.  You’ve got to be shrewd enough to see who might be willing to side with you, and cunning enough to make sure things go your way.  You can be all sweet and innocent on the outside, but you have to be a manipulative backstabber without drawing attention to yourself.  Then, you have to look at a jury of your peers and tell them why your game of lies and deceit was more clever than the person sitting next to you, but you’ve also got to convince them that you weren’t such a horrible person while playing that game that they should yank a million right out from under your nose.

Frankly, it looks exhausting.  It’s fun to watch, but I’ll stick with playing the lottery.  At the end of the day, I still won’t be a millionaire.  However, I won’t have used every last ounce of physical/mental/emotional energy I have TRYING to win a million dollars.  Nope, Attic Dweller, is sticking to the attic.