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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Five Months Later……

Hello, my name is Attic Dweller, and I’m a bad blogger.  So, it’s been five months since I’ve posted anything.  In reality, the only person that probably bothers is me, but I hate feeling like there’s an unfinished project out there.  Of course, this project is one that is more ongoing rather than one that has an end, but still, it’s just out there, neglected, alone, and feeling totally left out.  Poor little blog.  So, I’m going to try to give it more attention.  I know, I know, I’ve said that before, but seriously, I will try……if only for my own sanity.

So, what has happened in the last five months?  Well, for starters, it’s a new year.  I didn’t really make a resolution this year per se, but did decide that for once, I’m going to be the me I want to be.  I know, I know, I just gagged too, “the me I want to be”  how sugary sweet and love thyself do I sound right now.  I’ve always had this idea of who I am, and what makes me happy, but that person has just been a little lost.  Anxiety took me and hid me away from myself until I was just going through the motions some days.  People, medication helps.  I know, it’s not always the answer for everybody, but for me, it made a huge difference.  I feel like a cloud has been lifted off me and I don’t have to hold me breath waiting for the next panic attack to strike.  It’s a great feeling…..believe me.

I’ve probably mentioned my “list” before.  It’s the type of list that some would call a bucket list, but to me, it’s my “to do” list.  I’ve always been uncomfortable calling it a bucket list because I feel like if I accomplish everything on it, all I have left to do is kick the bucket.  What if I’m super efficient and cross everything off in a year.  I’m only 27 years old….so not ready to kick the bucket.  So, the last thing on my list is thing of more things to do.  It’s an ongoing list of things I’d like to do.  Some are silly, and some are possibly impossible, but it’s a list of what I’d like to try to do for me.  My success in life will not be measured by how many things I cross off that list, but how much fun I have trying. 

So many fun and exciting things have happened in the past five months.  Heck, there have been some totally sad things too, but I’m choosing to block those out of my mind at the moment.  See, little ray of sunshine”…..that’s me.  Maybe I’ll touch on some of those exciting (and not so exciting) things in future posts.  For now, I’m just going to end this post by saying, I feel like I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.  It’s a fabulous feeling, and I challenge all of you to find that feeling in yourselves.  Until next time my dears……adieu.